Well fuck you too, World

28, bitter, and unemployed...

But I do what I want. :)

On the one hand, you can tell he’s genuinely happy for his friend… but on the other, there’s something else there.  Resentment he doesn’t get to play the hero any more, discomfort at his “protector” role in their friendship being essentially invalidated, envy now that his gawky friend is the more good-looking, masculine one of them?  Or just mild annoyance that someone who was such a huge part of his life could have gone through such a huge change without his even knowing about it?

If you think about it, it’s a hell of an adjustment to have to make.

Lamotrigine is a little bitch; or, makeup advice for the similarly afflicted

Lamotrigine can be a real bitch sometimes.  Epilepsy is too, and I do understand the drugs are a necessary evil, there are some things I refuse to accept… and one of those, vain as it sounds, is my skin looking like crap.

I’d always had very good skin, with no spots or blemishes, but I’ve found Lamotrigine causes me to get red patches and in general dulls my complexion, as well as making me prone to rashes.  The insomnia I get also means I have constant dark circles under my eyes.  Granted I am on a very high dose, but I know a fair few others who have these issues, so I figured I might as well share the tips and tricks I’ve learned.

1. Basic skincare - I use E45 cream at night, which is super rich and super cheap, and works better than any high-end cream I’ve used.  I also use HC45 hydrocortisone cream on any red patches; the pharmacist tells you not to use it on your face, but use it sparingly and you’ll be fine.  For taking off makeup, cleanser and toner can be too harsh - I recommend Garnier’s “Goodbye Dry” cleansing wipes.

2. Dealing with the red patches - I recently discovered Eucerin Anti-Redness Moisturing Day Fluid, which is a rather startling shade of green but works miracles - I used to have to trowel on the concealer, but a carefully applied layer of this to red areas means I barely need any at all.  It’s also a fantastic moisturiser and has extracts that help treat the redness while hiding it.  Eucerin in general make amazing products, I use their rich moisturing cream on my tattoos when I have them done and they’re second to none.

3. Hiding stubborn spots - I use Benefit’s Fake Up concealer - it’s got a kind of built-in vaseline-y thing (check my technical terms, word) that means it doesn’t dry out your skin or do that weird cakey speckly thing when you try to spread it on.  I apply it to the dark spots under my eyes and also to the red patches that lurk beneath my nose, but keep it to the bare minimum possible; the lamotrigine dulls my skin enough without my adding to the problem by pasting on the product.

4. Foundation time - Often, I don’t need to use foundation once I’ve used the green cream and the concealer, but if my skin is feeling particularly recalcitrant I use Chanel Lift Lumiere foundation.  I dispense it onto my palm to warm it, which makes it go on better, and once again use the bare minimum.  I also apply it to my eyelids and general eye area to even them out.  As well as being quite sheer and having a built in SPF, it comes in a whole range of skin tones and also reflects light in such a way to make me look less like I’ve been dead for a week.  If Chanel is too pricey, Bourjois 10 Hour Sleep Effect Foundation is also a great choice, and Cover Girl makes a great foundation too.

5. Highlighter - Highlighter is an essential if you have dull skin.  Apply it to your cheekbones, jawline, browbone, the centre of your forehead, and down the bridge of your nose.  I use Chanel Le Blanc De Chanel, which is extraordinary - if someone takes a photo of you using the flash, it actually makes your skin looks airbrushed.  Highlighter also adds definition, which is great if your meds have a tendency to make you look puffy.

6. Powders - If you’re anything like me, you’re probably on more than one anti-convulsant, and one of the fuckers (I’ve yet to figure which) makes my face get very shiny, very fast (yet I’m still cursed with dry patches.  Go figure.)  Even if you aren’t cursed with this issue, it’s a good idea to “set” your makeup, which is something else sheer powders are great for.  I use Chanel Les Beiges, which not only does this but also gives you a healthy glow rather than that cakey mask look some powders can cause.  To this end, and also to help with the “not-looking-like-a-corpse” thing, I use a rosy peach pink blusher - smile, then brush it onto the apples of your cheeks and then up below your cheekbones.  I then use a little brush to apply a little extra to the underside of the apples of my cheeks, which adds some definition (good if the meds also make you puffy.)  My favourite blush is Chanel Joues Contraste, but Bourjois also have some excellent ones.

All these products I have used successfully and are very kind to skin; I have very sensitive skin that takes offence to everything, hence my using quite high-end products.  In my opinion, though, they’re well worth the expense, because they last forever and are miracle workers… and, most importantly, they won’t give you a rash (unlike you, Lamotrigine, you little bitch.)